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The Pain of Love

Recently I lost my beloved dog Meg, my best friend, my confidant, my pride and joy and an absolutely gorgeous gentle giant. She was the most beautiful soul - a servants soul with a healing heart. The hole she has left in my heart is massive. I have cried, wept in fact, on so many occasions. I have announced that I’m never having another dog but in the next minute desperately want another dog to play with our remaining pup, who misses her big sister terribly and breaks my heart all over again when she tries to find her. My emotions are like a bad roller-coaster and I feel drained and exhausted and sad and angry and grateful and overwhelmed – mostly all at the same time! Not many positives in that paragraph are there!

But there is one word that turns all of that around. Love. I loved that dog so much – and she loved me. The reason I ache is because she is not here for me to share that energy with on a daily basis. But I have her love, her memory – the photos and stories that make me laugh out loud when we remember her. Her funny little ways that only her family knew, but didn’t really see because we accepted her unconditionally. The hair – my goodness the hair that seemed to get into everything ha ha!

Meg shone a light on so many things and brought so much happiness. Every time a newborn grandchild was introduced she gave them a quick sniff and they were then one of 'her children'. We could be in a room full of little-ones and she would immediately go and find ‘her children’. She would let them know she was there and then watch them, like any good matriarch, making sure nothing happened on her watch. If there was a cry because one of them had fallen she was always the first there. What a quality. She loved that role. 😊

To our other dog she was such a good influence, she taught her good manners and gave her a good run for her money where the ball was concerned. They were so fond of each other, not once did they have bad words with each other. Love and companionship right to the last.

She helped me grow, she taught me more than I could ever teach her. She protected me, guided me, showed me and gave me unconditional love and affection. She was my Meg and I loved her.

And the pain is worth the memory. Even when it overwhelms me it is still not as big as the love that I feel deep inside when I hear her name.

So my blog is a bit self-indulgent today but I need some indulgence and to do things that make me feel good. I also want to put it out there that love is good, it always wins, no matter how much love hurts.

Love is love and can’t be muddled up as anything other than love. Hate for instance can be jealousy, fear or anger. Love can only be love.

So do everything you can over the next few days with love as the leader. When you are dealing with love in words or actions it can never be received as anything other than love. Even if you have to use ‘tough love’, it is still love – your soul will know that and the recipient will receive it as love on a soul level.

Thank you Meg, my big old bear. Just for now the sadness can live alongside the love because I know eventually the love will win and then I’m left with the purest and most authentic version of you - and I can carry that with me forever😊

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